Another Day In Mutant Suburbia
by Red Witch
Summary: Sequel to What Else Is New? The X-Men continue to try and calm down Professor X and Beast before the neighbors start a riot.


**The disclaimer telling all of you there is no way I own any X-Men Evolution characters has come down from a major high. This is a sequel to What Else Is New? **

**Another Day in Mutant Suburbia**

"Let me see if I get this straight," Rogue held up her hand. "Kitty got some marijuana and put it in a _salad_? And then she bought some pot filled brownies and she gave the salad **and** the brownies to Beast and the Professor?"

"Yup," Scott sighed.

"And the Professor and Beast got **high?**" Rogue was stunned.

"Exactly," Scott said. "Which resulted in the Professor casting a few illusions and Beast to run around without his clothes."

"And why is the Brotherhood **here?**" Rogue pointed to the Brotherhood in the kitchen. Lance, Pietro, Todd, Fred and Pyro were grinning inanely.

"We were bored," Todd explained.

"Where else can you get a free meal and a show?" Fred grinned.

"I must admit I miss the rainbows and the unicorns," Pyro snickered.

"Is there anything **else** I need to know?" Rogue asked with a groan. "Although I'm afraid to ask…"

"Yeah," Todd smirked. "Lance, Pyro and Summers all did pot once."

"Well that I knew!" Rogue said.

"You **knew?**" Jean asked. "I mean I figured you'd know about the Brotherhood but Scott…? How did you know **that**?"

"Did your **brain** just shut down too?" Rogue waved her gloved hand at Jean. "Once when I touched him in a Danger Room session I got an image of some doctor giving him weed and him throwing up and passing out in vomit."

"He, he he…" Lance chuckled.

"It's not funny Alvers!" Scott snapped.

"I think it's worth a chuckle or two," Lance quipped. "Although I gotta admit it's not half as funny as what happened today!"

"Yeah this particular episode will give me a chuckle for years to come," Pietro smirked.

"Not unless I wipe it from your diseased brain!" Jean snapped. "No wait, your mind is empty enough as it is."

Kitty walked into the room. "So are Cheech and Chong settled down?" Pietro asked. "Or is there going to be a second show?"

"Not funny Quicksilver!" Kitty snapped.

"Not for you," Lance quipped.

"Oh I am so glad we are no longer dating!" Kitty snapped.

"Same here! I don't want to go to jail for drug possession," Lance remarked.

"Not when there's a dozen **other** reasons you should be in jail," Scott added.

"Crack remarks all you like Summers but we in the Brotherhood never used any drugs," Fred said in defense. "Okay caffeine but that's legal!"

"And just as dangerous," Jean sighed. "Kitty how are they?"

"I think they've finally calmed down," Kitty said.

Suddenly the entire kitchen changed into a lush jungle. "You might want to check again Kitty," Scott remarked as the table they were sitting at turned into a hippopotamus.

"AAAAHH AHAHHHAAAAAAAA!" A loud Tarzan yell could be heard.

"Looks like Mr. McCoy is running around too," Lance grinned.

"Now we know the reason why mutants and drugs are a bad combination," Fred said.

"Not to mention the reason why they call it dope," Pyro quipped.

"He's swinging around in a loincloth," Todd looked out the door.

"It means we gotta go catch them again!" Jean groaned as she and the others got up and went after them. Except for Pietro who punched a number in his cell phone.

"Father! It's Pietro!" Pietro was brimming with glee. "You will not believe what happened! Yes it's important! Oh yeah? Professor X and Beast are higher than an airline pilot! Seriously! They're stoned out of their minds! Yes Professor X! What do you mean by **not again?"**

Meanwhile across the street a real estate agent was showing a house to a young couple. "And it's in a quiet exclusive neighborhood," She smiled. She had an odd resemblance to Marcia Cross on Desperate Housewives. "There's not many other houses on the block so you have some privacy. It has a lovely view…"

She turned around and saw that the Institute had been changed into a large jungle. "Uh some of the area is a wildlife preserve…"

"Is that a jungle?" The wife blinked.

"A jungle in New York? Don't be silly!" The real estate agent nervously laughed. "Let's look inside the house shall we? Did I mention there's an indoor pool? And five bathrooms?"

"AAAAAAH AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"What was that?" The man gasped. "Mrs. Lacy that sounded like…?"

"A blue warbler!" Mrs. Lacy said quickly. "Yes they are rather boisterous this time of year. It's their mating season."

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Hank burst out all in blue wearing a loincloth. "ME TARZAN! KING OF THE JUNGLE!"

"BEAST GET YOUR BLUE BUTT BACK HERE BEFORE I CLOBBER YOU!" Rogue ran out after him.

"NEVER! QUEEN OF THE SKUNKS WILL NEVER DEFEAT TARZAN!" Hank laughed as he ran away. Rogue ran after him.

"ON JUMBO!" Xavier rode out on a small elephant wearing a pith helmet.

"Okay I know that's only an illusion but how does he do that?" Fred blinked as he followed eating a couple bags of chips at the same time.

"FRED STOP EATING THE POTATO CHIPS BEFORE I BLAST YOU!" Scott shouted as the mutants came out.

"TRY IT SUMMERS AND I'LL ROCK YOU!" Lance snapped.

"Oh will you two shut up and cut out your stupid macho posturing! We have a crisis here!" Kitty snapped.

"Kitty! It's **your** fault this happened in the first place!" Kurt snapped. He didn't have his image inducer on. "You and your stupid drugged salad and brownies!"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS POT IN THERE!" Kitty shouted.

"Professor get back here!" Jean shouted. "YOU TOO BEAST!"

"Amsterdam? What happened in **Amsterdam**?" Pietro was still on the phone. "Oh come on! Tell me! Involved unicorns huh? That happened here too! Yes it did!"

"Uh the neighbors are actors in a comedy troupe and they often rehearse," Mrs. Lacy said quickly. "Free shows! Oh did I mention that spacious closet space?"

"I recognize this place!" The man shouted. "It's that mutant school!"

"You tried to sell us a house near a **mutant school?"** The woman shouted. "Full of **mutants?**"

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" The man screamed as they ran for their lives.

"Do you mutants **dream up** ways at night to make my life a living hell?" Mrs. Lacy screamed from across the way. "AAAAAHHHHH!"

A van pulled up and Logan and the New Mutants stepped out. "Oh no…" Logan groaned. "WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Hank ran by.

"Onward! To the lost city of gold!" Xavier laughed.

"They've all lost their minds," Sam blinked. "Where did that elephant come from?"

"Oh look the Brotherhood is here!" Logan growled. "What did you do raid the zoo again?"

"It's not our fault," Lance said.

"For once," Scott sighed.

"So what **did** happen?" Bobby asked. "And why does the Institute look like the set of an Indiana Jones film?"

"Well you see Kitty…" Kurt began.

"Got it," Logan groaned.

"That explains a lot," Sam sighed.

"How does that explain everything?" Jean asked.

"Jean, the Institute looks like Animal Kingdom and Chuck is on safari," Logan told her. "Beast is running around playing Tarzan…."

"Whoopee!" Ororo was heard giggling in the van. Suddenly the clouds darkened and flurries started to fall.

"Did I mention Storm got a bit hyper after eating some brownies?" Logan sighed.

"No you did not," Scott blinked.

"If anybody asks, the national park suffered Reverse Global Warming," Sam said. "That's what Mr. Logan said."

"So I'm guessing whatever Kitty put in those brownies made some kind of reaction or she bought something that was bad," Logan said. "Am I close?"

"We have a winner," Todd snickered.

"Kitty didn't make the brownies," Scott sighed. "She bought them from that open air grocery stand outside of town."

"The one with the Michael Jackson scarecrow?" Logan did a double take. "I thought those brownies tasted familiar."

"Oh goody! Another member of the Pot Patrol!" Kitty threw up her hands.

"You are in no position to judge!" Lance snapped.

"I didn't know pot was in those brownies or that salad!" Kitty snapped.

"And that's why Storm suddenly became so possessive about that salad," Logan groaned.

"No, we haven't seen any lemurs," Pietro remarked as he still talked on the phone. Then a lemur ran by. "Oh wait, now we have."

"I HATE YOU!" Mrs. Lacy screamed at the gate. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HAVEN'T SOLD THAT HOUSE IN OVER A YEAR BECAUSE OF YOU FREAKS! I HATE YOU!"

"And the neighbors are screaming at us," Jean groaned. "The perfect end to a perfect day!"

"I thought it was a snowy day?" Todd started to shiver.

"He he…" Ororo stumbled out. Her eyes were glazed and she was giggling non stop.

"How long are they gonna be like this?" Amara asked.

"Too long for my tastes," Logan sighed. "But the effect should wear off by the end of the day."

"YOU'RE ALL FREAKS! FREAKS!" Mrs. Lacy screamed.

"Ah shaddap!" Ororo hiccupped and made a small rain cloud over Mrs. Lacy's head.

"AAAHAHH!" Mrs. Lacy ran for her life away from the rain and small bursts of electricity.

"Nice to see someone else get zapped with lightning instead of me for a change," Todd snickered.

"Nice that this phone has video I can send to my father," Pietro snickered as he shot the pictures.

"And it's nice to know that Rogue can tackle like a linebacker," Lance remarked at Rogue caught up to Hank and tackled him to the ground.

"Another fun day at Mutant Manor," Kitty groaned.

Several hours later...

"I swear upon my life I will personally see to it that Kitty never cooks again until I have drawn my last breath," Hank moaned as he sat at the kitchen table. "And by the looks of things I have only forty minutes left...Oohhhh..."

"Look at the bright side," Logan said cheerfully. "You're all provided the kids a great lesson on drugs and mutants don't mix. Thanks to you they'll be scarred for life!"

"Not to mention that poor real estate agent," Xavier winced in pain.

"And we've given the Brotherhood a good laugh and something they will never allow us to forget," Ororo groaned.

"You know what the sad part is?" Scott sighed. "This is the quietest day we've had in **weeks!**"


End file.
